The Spirituality of Play

Music for Gathering

Morning Has Broken, Cat Stevens

Opening Words

When I begin to lose track of the path to God, I must remember to start looking where I know he lives if he is anywhere: in the sound of laughter.

—Michael Lassell

Ingathering Hymn

If You’re Happy and You Know It

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it.
If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

If you’re happy and you know it, stomp your feet.
If you’re happy and you know it, stomp your feet.
If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it.
If you’re happy and you know it, stomp your feet.

If you’re happy and you know it, shout hurray.
If you’re happy and you know it, shout hurray.
If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it.
If you’re happy and you know it, shout hurray.

If you’re happy and you know it, do all three.
If you’re happy and you know it, do all three.
If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it.
If you’re happy and you know, do all three.

Lighting of the Chalice

May this light warm our hears with love and caring and guide us in the ways of truth

Uniting Statement

As we gather here for worship,
we pledge ourselves to the endless search for truth;
to the right of each to believe as mind, heart, and conscience dictate,
to accept the responsibilities this freedom commands;
and to implement our belief
in the essential worth and dignity of every human being.
—from the Preamble of our Constitution

Song of Exultation

We toil and work most of the day
It’s been so long since we did play
Life is more than just nine to five
We must have fun to be alive!

Meditation

In the daily meditation devotional “Glad Day,” Joan Larkin writes:

Laughter cleanses us from discouragement, anger, apathy, and grief, making room for new feelings and thoughts. Laughter frees us from self-consciousness, anxiety, and stress. Laughter helps heal our physical ailments – it massages internal organs and strengthens the life force flowing through us. Laughter teaches us to take our troubles lightly, releasing our spirits from the weight of the world and of ourselves. Laughter unites what has been separate, connecting us to one another and to our true selves. Laughter calls forth our desire to live. Laughter, then, is a source of miracles. Surely, it’s one of the places where we can meet our Higher Power.

Offertory

Best Friend (Unicorn Song), Margie Adam

Sermon

The Spirituality of Play

by Kevin Drewery

Before I begin, I want to first say that I’m going to be talking about “family” this morning. I realize that, for many, the word “family” has become almost as much of a loaded word as the word “liberal.”

So, I want to go ahead and clarify what my definition of family is before I begin. When I use the word “family,” I’m using in relation to the following definition: “Family” is the group of people that you share your life with. It can include, but isn’t limited to, those people that you are related to.

Since I’m from a D.I.N.K. relationship (those of you who don’t know, that’s Double Income No Kids). You know, that is my immediate family. Then, of course, I have a plethora of blood relations that I forced Seain to me recently. Then, of course, we have extended family members, like our friends Fred and Patty and their children Johnathan and Carolann. I would be remise if I didn’t acknowledge that my extended local family includes Erin Gatewood and her daughters, Annie Powell and Caty Gatewood, because they have been very helpful to us recently particularly letting me crash in their study while we were waiting to move from one location to another. And of course, in the past two years, going on three now, one of the elements that has of course, brought me the most pleasure that you have heard me, Laura and Susan talk about, is the YRUU.

I would also like us to reclaim the term “new-clear family.” I’m not referring to the 50’s term “NUCLEAR FAMILY.” I’m talking about the term, NEW-CLEAR family. These are the families that have chosen to make a covenant of support to each other. This is a concept that I first heard Steven Covey talk about. I must say that I’ve been enchanted with it ever since.

So often we get mired in our day-to-day lives and everything that’s going on that we forget that we need to covenant with those we share our lives with outside of 9-5 likes those we do during the 9-5 hours.

As adults, we have covenants at church, at work and with our spouses. Our covenants at work come in the form of contracts with our employers, employees and our clients. At church we covenant through affirming similar beliefs, pledging, donating out time and talents. We covenant with our spouses when we make and take vows. But what about the rest of the members of our family?

We are at a point in our American society where we are spending the least amount of time together as a family. For many families, the economy is such that one or all of the working-age members have to work, from teens all the way through grandparents. Many have to work, have to work multiple jobs. Another impact on the time spent with family members is the necessity of extra curricular activities in schools. College educations are so cost prohibitive for many families, that the only way to hope for a college education for some children is through sports. I’m not trying to say that this is bad. I’m grateful for these programs that have given many youth the opportunity to attend college. Neither of these situations is, in itself, inherently bad, that are just challenges to be faced, and overcome, by families. Probably the most unfortunate side effect of families not spending enough time together is that many times, we know more about our bosses and our coworkers that those members of our family that shares the same roof with us.

Historically, faith has been one of the strongest ways that families have spent time together. Faith has helped get many a family through some of the most difficult and seemingly insurmountable experiences. As a child who was raised a Christian, I remember prayer being an integral part of our spiritual expression. I particularly remember praying at mealtime. The meal blessing was a way of saying thank you to the creator for the meal and for the family members present who were sharing it. It was a daily re-covenanting of the family.

Even though my primary spiritual focus has changed to a more earth-centered path, I still believe prayer to be an important practice that can help families re-covenant regardless of who or what they are praying to. Even prayers that are just simple thanks for the food and those present sharing it can be a very moving tribute to their commitment to each other.

But this is not a service about prayer. That is, as you may have noticed, another favorite topic of mine that can be shared another time. This service is about the spirituality of play.

Yes, I do believe that play can be a spiritual experience, and I do know that it can be a way to help bring, and keep, families together.

So, how have various religions incorporated “play” into their worship? Well, let me first start by saying that I do consider celebration (in all of its many forms) to be part of religious worship. And celebration, to me, is another form of play. For some, I think that is a matter for debate. I feel that it’s a given.

Here are some examples of how some religions have incorporated play and celebration into their expressions of their faiths.

In Judaism, Coming of Age is celebrated through Bar & Bat Mitzvahs. There is a formal, very religious ceremony followed by a party that gets family and friends of the boy or girl together. There is food and fellowship and often dancing. During Passover, one of the matzos, called the offi komen (sp?), is hidden and latter the children present go on a hunt to find it. And, of course, there is the one thing that most gentiles know about Hanukkah, the Dreidel game.

Music has long been a part of most religious worship. Some churches incorporate dancing as a part of their “bringing a joyful noise” unto the Lord.

It is customary for some Muslims to have dancing at their feasts celebrating local Holy Persons.

Hindus are well known for their feast and celebrations for their many deities.

And, of course, most faiths have very celebratory ways to affirm marriages and unions.

Now, what does all of this mean for us Unitarian Universalists? Some UU’s have a tendency towards the intellectual as opposed to the mystical. How can play be something that can be spiritually rewarding for us?

What does play do? I need everyone to raise your hand if any of the following questions are applicable to you. How many people here were children? When school was out, what did the average child want to do? Speaking for myself, I wanted to play. Now, baring certain stereotypes, I wasn’t very sports oriented, so I played a lot indoors. What I now affectionately refer to as experiencing the “Tao of LEGOS.” I want to tell you all now, that after 35 ½ years, 23 of those playing with LEGOS, I am finally vindicated by the Wall Street Journal.

This is an article from the Friday, August 16th edition, where some corporations are now sending their executives to seminars and workshops to play with LEGOS to help free up the creative process. So, I was right all of these years. When I was creating buildings and cities with my bricks, any problems that I might be having, disappeared for that short time. Even as an adult, it has been proven, for me, with professionals, that playing with LEGOS can be as good for me as watching a fish tank or petting a cat or dog can be for others in reducing stress. So, on days when it’s really, really, hectic at work, you can expect to hear of me sitting there building something completely inane out of my LEGO building bricks. I even keep some at work. Although, I admit, that most of the time that those are for throwing, not for playing.

Now, the greatest source we can have for inspiration about play as adults is children. Have you taken a moment to just stand by and watch your children at play? Those of you that are parents, I sure that you just relish it! Just simply give them the time and opportunity to be themselves and play. You see, children have the ability to allow their imaginations to just run wild. And it is an awe-inspiring, completely humbling, sight. Unlike adults, they haven’t had the conditioning to control and or stifle their imaginations. Because, of course you know, as we get further along the food chain in our academic and professional lives, we are allowed to express ourselves less and conform more. So, children are, by far, our greatest mentors on play.

Larry Eiser recently me a story of how he was watching his daughter, Daina, playing recently. The family was at a sporting event for one the children. At some point, Daina quit playing with some the other small children there and went off by herself. Larry noticed that she was dancing around and enraptured by the interaction she was having with her own shadow. I remember him telling me what an epiphany that this was for him and how was beginning to see what I had been talking about when I would talk about the spirituality of play.

Now, every now and then, popular culture throws us a bone. I think that it has been during the past couple of years that Hasbro has been advertising “Family Game Night” as a media tool to help sell their games. Finally, we have an example of an advertising campaign that can actually benefit the family while making somebody some money. The reality of the campaign is that it IS nice for families to plan at least one-night a week where they spend time together and I wholeheartedly agree.

Particularly as we grow older, are interactions between ourselves and our children, youth, our parents, becomes a lot more stressed. This is the biological nature of growing older. The majority of us have been through adolescence, and further steps thereof, and we know that as we get older we just get “more wound tight.” So I think that its important that while you’re trying to be parents for your children, it’s also important for them to know that in addition to being an authority figure that there are times when interactions together can be pleasant, mutually beneficial, and fun! Because the family that plays together, will end up staying together.

Now, the question comes in about whether we should play competitive or non-competitive games. I feel that it is helpful for children, and families, to play BOTH. While we work towards creating a society where competition isn’t the norm, we can show children how to compete fairly and so that they understand what competition can be like. Because, once the average person is thrust into the job market, we all know that it is a very competitive world and I think that people, who are raised with an understanding of how to compete fairly, are better prepared for adulthood in what is currently a capitalist society. At the same time, I do also firmly believe that it is important for everyone to have many opportunities to pay non-competitive games. Games where they can have fun. Feel safe. And experience movement.

You see, here, Movement is one of the keys. Recently I attended a management seminar by Dr. Robert Tracz. Who’s actually a Canadian veterinarian who changed careers. One of the biggest, important, things that I got from that seminar was that MOTION CHANGES EMOTION.

Once again, I need a show of hands. Who here has ever been mad or upset with someone, or some situation? Or, has anyone ever gotten into trouble and sent to a corner, or your room? What did you do the entire time while you were upset or being punished? You sat, or stood, there; you scowled and stewed in your emotions. You got real rigid. The longer you were there, the more upset you became.

Now, how many of you have been in a similar situation but went outside and shot hoops with a basketball, or went to the driving range, or batting cage, thrown the a Frisbee, or did something physical? Do you remember starting to forget about the situation making you upset and getting caught up in the activity? There is a reason for that. Motion changes Emotion!

Now, I do have some recommendations when incorporating playing games in the family. First, family members need to rotate when playing in pairs or as partners. This will keep one member from feeling that another member is playing favorites. In the family, when playing games, everybody must be equal. Second, find ways to incorporate non-competitive games into your play. This will help to make everyone feel that they are equally capable. Families, like UUs, like LEGOS, do come in different shapes, sizes and abilities. There needs to be times when we are just “moving” together as families. Third, although this isn’t entirely about play, I think that we need to each covenant to take an interest in the interests of the other members of your family. I think that it is past due for us to know more about our family members that those we work with, or for.

Last Sunday, Larry and Ruth Ann gave a very powerful service about suicide and depression. There are TONS of statistics that deal with the results of when people that have had too much sorrow in their life. Or they just can’t take it any more. In preparing for this service, I tried searching the web for statistics about people who just couldn’t take having too much joy in their lives. I found information about spontaneous combustion. I have yet to find one documented case where someone was just too darn happy that they couldn’t take it anymore. If anyone finds any information of this like, please forward it to me so I can incorporate it into future versions of this sermon. Because if you have to go, that’s the WAY to go. So I challenge each of us to find ways of incorporating play in with our families and into our workplaces. There are appropriate ways that won’t get you arrested for sexual harassment that you can incorporate play into the workplace. The reality is that since we spend so much time at work, it needs to be pleasant enough so that we don’t get ulcers because we have to go there.

The ability to experience, and share, joy is truly a gift from the divine! Every day that we are blessed with is a GIFT! The people that we are privileged to share our lives with are gifts from the divine! Let us covenant with each other, and those we love, to share joy and experience the spirituality of play.

Celebratory Hymn

It’s Such a Good Feeling, Fred Rogers

Closing Activity

Raising the Spirit

Extinguishing the Chalice

Carry the flame of peace and love until we meet again.

Postlude

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, Harry Connick, Jr.