The Blue Quilts Dedication Sermon

Opening Words

from the poet Emily Dickenson

“My life closed twice before its close—
It yet remains to see
If immortality unveil
A third event to me.

So huge, so hopeless to conceive
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven
And all we need of hell.”

The Dedication Of The Quilts

Let me review for those of you who are new here the story of the three quilts.

	The one in the center, which portrays the flaming chalice, symbol of the Unitarian Universalist Church, was made two years ago as a memorial to those members of this congregation who died before 1985. The names were embroidered by friends and relatives on strips of cloth sent to California, Florida, Illinois, and points between, then returned to be incorporated into the base on which the chalice rests. Of the two overlapping circles surrounding the flame one is obviously a composition of triangles within squares fitted into a round area. The other appears to be more random, a foaming spray of deeper blues filling its allotted space with chaotic abandon. In fact upon close inspection you will see that, although the personalities of these two circles differ, they are both built on the very same pattern, just as each of us is built on a general human pattern but each one expresses that humanity in a different way. The two sparks of light escaping the circled flame represent the soaring human spirit.
	The second quilt, made last year, is a memorial to members of this congregation who died since 1985. The primary composition, the sailboat on a moonlit sea, was designed with the life of John Coffin in mind. The quilters through their handwork have made their own contribution to the design. The quilting includes sea creatures, the man in the moon, and for a feminine presence, the constellation of the Seven Sisters. Again, names were embroidered by friends and relatives of the deceased.
	The third quilt of this series was completed last summer. It is dedicated to the memory of deceased sons and daughters of members of the congregation. The names are all done in cross stitch as though each one were a constellation in the Milky Way. The Milky Way itself is embroidered in pale blues and yellows. Only the names are in white and these were done by family members or friends. The design of the earth was adapted from a satellite photo. The geographic features are outlined with embroidery stitches commonly used on traditional crazy quilts. It is always a surprise and a delight to me to see the creativeness of all the quilters joined together to enrich the patchwork with their overlaid design. In the late 1960s I visited Westminster Abbey. Of the hundreds of inscriptions on those walls there was one that touched me especially, an epitaph to a Charles Bonner. The words haunted me, and I regretted not having copied them down. Little did I know that some 20 years later my own Charles would die and I would write to the Dean of the Abbey who kindly sent the text which I will now read to you: “His afflicted Father places here this record of the many talents and virtues which for so early an age were very conspicuously developed 'But now he is dead can I bring him back again? I shall go to him but he shall not return to me'.” The last two sentences are a quotation from the Hebrew scriptures, the second book of Samuel, chapter 12, the 23rd verse and part of that appears on this quilt.

We are grateful to the architect, Greg Weidemann, who has made special provision for these quilts in the design of our new sanctuary. They will be hung together on the wall behind the pulpit. That wall is much taller than this one and the room much larger, so the effect will not be so overwhelming. The fabrics will be protected through the use in that area of ultravioletproof glass for the windows and artificial lights with a low ultraviolet component.

All of those who have had a hand in designing and making these three memorial quilts now present and dedicate them to this congregation.

First Reading

From “The Observing Self: Mysticism and Psychotherapy by Arthur Deikman, M.D.

(pg. 2) “Western science is characterized by a split between the sacred and the rational, which has left modern psychotherapy less well equipped than the superceded ancient, primitive versions to handle certain problems. The loss of dramatic placebo devices is not the difficulty. The issue goes deeper, involving the most fundamental assumptions of Western thought. Freud's view of reality and that of most contemporary theorists of psychotherapy is based on a nineteenth-century physical and biological scientific model that is far too narrow to encompass human consciousness. Consequently, certain sources of suffering cannot be dealt with from within a Western framework. We are faced with major problems that call for broadening our perspective and extending our science. ”

(pg.4) “Human beings need meaning. Without it they suffer boredom, depression, and despair. Increasingly, psychotherapists are called on to deal with these symptoms as people confront aging and death in the context of a society that is coming to realize the possibility of its own decline and extinction. The religious framework that formerly defined meaning has been replaced by a scientific world view in which meaning does not exist. 'What is the purpose of human life?' and 'Why am I?' are questions that are said by most scientists to lie outside the scope of science or to be false, since they assume that the human species developed by chance in a random universe. According to this view, human beings are complex biochemical phenomena, of considerable scientific interest but not essentially different from anything else that science examines.

“Western psychotherapy is hard put to meet human beings' need for meaning, for it attempts to understand clinical phenomena in a framework, based on scientific materialism, in which meaning is arbitrary and purpose nonexistent. Consequently, Western psychotherapy interprets the search for meaning as a function of childlike dependency wishes and fears of helplessness or, at best, a genetic disposition toward intellectual control, preserved and enhanced by natural selection because of its survival value.

“Such explanations, however tidy they may be, do not offer much help to adolescents and young adults seeking a life path, to persons confronting the anxieties of the nuclear age, or to those who experience despair as death approaches, unable to find significance in life goals based on personal acquisition, unable to find meaning in the purposeless universe of scientific empiricism.”

Second Reading

The title of Dr. Deikman's book, “The Observing Self”, refers not to this object, our body or its brain, but to that which is aware of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. This reading attempts to clarify that distinction:

“When we consider the radically different nature of the observing self, it is apparent that some mode of knowing other than the senses or intellect is involved in that phenomenon. The senses and intellect provide content: sounds, vision, touch, ideas, memories, fantasies. But the observing self is outside content and thus outside intellect and sensation. It follows that a different type of knowing is involved, one we must designate as intuitive, or direct, knowing - knowing by being that which is known. We are awareness, and that is why we cannot observe it; we cannot detach ourselves from it because it is the core experience of self.

“I will use an analogy to illustrate how direct knowing might take place and what its relationship to ordinary thought could be. Consider a pond that borders on and is continuous with the ocean. Our awareness, the observing self, is the surface of the pond. Thoughts, feelings, and other mental activities are like splashes and ripples in the water, as if small stones were being tossed in from the shore. When such activity subsides, the pond is smooth, still, and reflective; at such times the observing self is enhanced, becomes prominent, and is the major dimension of consciousness. At other times, when thought has transformed the surface into a mass of waves and ripples, awareness seems to have vanished and consciousness contains only the patterns of disturbance in the water. …

“We can then address the question, “Why are thoughts and feelings observed but awareness known directly?” The answer is that the ripples are local phenomena but water per se is not. The activity occurs against the background of stillness and through the medium of water.

“When the water becomes still, and the quiet extends to a sufficient depth, the pond begins to resonate with the longer phase pulsations originating from the ocean. ...

“To translate back into the terms of mystical science: through appropriate teaching, object self (local) motivations and their corresponding form of consciousness can subside and cease to dominate perception. Then the person becomes aware of the subtler, deeper currents that reflect and permeate reality. When this takes place, people experience their continuity and identity with that larger activity to which is given various names: Self, Tao, Truth, Brahman, or God.

“The analogy of the pond and the ocean is limited because it is three-dimensional and cannot show us the transcendent character of awareness as compared to thought contents. Thus, it is not an explanation of awareness but a way of appreciating how awareness and intuitive knowing might operate, how they might be possible. The analogy is also useful in understanding the reciprocal relationship of awareness and mental activity.

“Although I call the observing self transcendent, there is not necessarily anything esoteric or religious about it. Understanding the observing self is a matter of widening our perspective to include something that has always been there but has been difficult to acknowledge because it does not fit the framework to which we are accustomed.”

Preface

For those of you who are visiting and are not familiar with the Unitarian Church I should preface my remarks with an explanation that we have what is known as a free pulpit. The ideas I will be expressing are not necessarily those of the congregation as a whole. Indeed there may be few here who share my views.

Sermon

Some Thoughts On The Death Of My Son

Charles Alan Halstrick was born January 16, 1955. He died on November 18, 1987, age 32. The cause of death: traumatic cerebral avulsion, due to a gunshot wound in the head—self-inflicted.

What kind of person would do such a thing?

Here is the evaluation of one of his medical school professors:

“Charles Halstrick has continued to demonstrate a complete mastery of the required skills and then some. His professional demeanor is mature well beyond his actual medical education level. His enthusiasm is contagious. His fund of knowledge is well above that of his peers yet he is extremely modest. This has been a most thoroughly enjoyable and rewarding experience for me and I hope for him. By far the best student I have ever worked with.”

Why would such a person commit suicide?

After four years of searching I found that question beautifully answered in a slim volume by the novelist, William Styron, called “Darkness Visible, a Memoir of Madness.” It is an account of Styron's own struggle with an often fatal disease, clinical depression. His skill as a writer enables Styron to take the reader into his mind to feel the course of the disease and to understand how it could be fatal. One has to read the whole brief book to feel the effect. If it were required reading in high school it might save some lives.

My son never let anyone know he suffered from depression. I discovered it by reading his journal after he died.

As Lena says of her son in Lorraine Hansberry's play “Raisin in the Sun”, “He was my harvest.”

Charles once mentioned to me that he expected soon to meet a certain physician who is a “born again” Christian. He couldn't understand how such a highly educated man could espouse that point of view, but Charles confided, “When I listen to him I intend to make the 'Oh' response not the 'No' response. Maybe I'll learn something.”

I have sought an alternative to the resignation which one minister told me was all I had to look forward to. I was already familiar, as many of you probably are, with Dr. Raymond Moody's first book, “Life After Life”. Back in 1975 Moody was risking his good name as a physician by bringing to public attention a phenomenon which he labeled Near Death Experience.

It is likely that many of you are familiar with the writings of psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, pediatrician Melvin Morse, cardiologist Michael Sabom, or psychologist Kenneth Ring who have also been studying these peculiar incidents. If you have not run across this field of research you may be startled by some of the findings.

Near Death Experiences occur for some individuals who apparently die but then are resuscitated. They report all or some parts of the following events:

The person finds himself floating above and looking down at his body perhaps on the operating table in a hospital. He watches doctors and nurses trying to revive him. He may float down the hall to the waiting room and see his family, hear and later report the family's conversation.

Suddenly he is drawn swiftly through a dark tunnel toward a brilliant light. He is often met by deceased friends or relatives. Then a benevolent presence in the light shows him a panoramic view of his life. He sees every good and every unkind thing he has ever done. Not only that, he “becomes” the individuals affected by his actions and feels the effects.

The spirit of the light is not judgmental but points out that something can be learned from this experience. The subject feels surrounded by unconditional love and sees a place beautiful beyond description. The meaning of life and its purpose is revealed.

There is a barrier of some sort, a river, a door, a gate. It becomes clear that if the person crosses that barrier he will never return, or someone says to him, “It's not your time. You must go back.” Suddenly he is back in his body.

An astonishing story. Surely a rare event! Yet according to a Gallup poll taken in 1982 some 8 million Americans have had this experience or part of it. Now 18 years after the publication of “Life After Life” there is general recognition that this is a common occurrence. It is clearly not a dream, not drug induced, not caused by oxygen deprivation, nor is it delirium or hallucination. But no one knows what it really is, that is, except those who actually go through it.

Dr. Moody says that in any group of 35 or more people he talks to one or more will have had such an experience or know someone who has. It's very likely that several of you have or know someone who has. I know 4 such individuals. Two are relatives and two acquaintances.

My son, Charles, talked at length with one of his patients to whom this had happened on the operating table after a heart attack. The man told Charles that if it happened again he would be happy to go back to that beautiful place.

This kind of episode is wide spread over many different cultures, it is recorded throughout history, it happens frequently in our time, it is clear and consistent, and it is being taken seriously by Western scientists as well as by mystics. Why don't we hear more about this?

At one of Dr. Moody's presentations a doctor in the audience announced that he had been a cardiologist for many years and had never heard of such a thing. Before Moody could comment another man stood up and said to the cardiologist, “I am one of your patients. I had such an experience and you are the last person in the world I would tell.”

These people have learned that if they mention what happened to them they will be told that it was just their imagination, sometimes they are sent to a psychiatrist, or simply ridiculed. Their reaction to this treatment is naturally enough to keep the matter to themselves.

Patients have described markings on the top of lights above the operating table and readings on instruments that they could not possibly have seen from their prone position and with closed eyes.

If some part of the self can escape the body temporarily, make these observations, and later give a clear and accurate report, perhaps it could escape altogether.

Dr. Deikman, in his book, “The Observing Self”, (pg. 11) says:

“… we cannot observe the observing self; we must experience it directly. It has no defining qualities, no boundaries, no dimensions. The observing self has been ignored by Western psychology because it is not an object and cannot fit the assumptions and framework of current theory.

“Lacking understanding of this elusive, central self, how are we to answer the essential questions ‘Who am I?’ ‘What am I?’ that lie at the heart of science, philosophy, the arts, the search for meaning? To find answers we must step outside the boundaries of our traditional modes of thought.”

The British economist, E.F. Schumacher, in his book, “A Guide for the Perplexed” says,

“For every one of us only those facts and phenomena ‘exist’ for which we possess adequatio, and as we are not entitled to assume that we are necessarily adequate to everything at all times, … so we're not entitled to insist that something inaccessible to us has no existence at all and is nothing but a phantom of other people's imagination.”

Again I will quote from Deikman:

“…the Sufis stressed that all religious forms were cultural derivations of the same basic intuitive perception. …As did the sages of earlier traditions, the Sufis asserted that a suprasensory reality existed that could be known by human beings. Such knowledge revealed the meaning of human life and its flow of events. The Sufis made the particular point that most people are 'asleep,' because their consciousness is taken up with automatic responses in the service of greed and fear. The brain, thus occupied, is said to be incapable of the special perception whose development is the true destiny and task of human life. …According to the Sufis, the human race can undergo 'conscious evolution' by freeing itself from its conditioned assumptions and self-centered thinking.”

Deikman also says that mystical intuition is developed. It is not given.

One way of evaluating near death experiences is to consider the effect on the experiencer. These individuals lose their fear of death. Although they look forward to the time when they can complete the journey, they have no desire to hasten the day. They feel that there is a purpose to their lives here and now, that the important things to do are to become more loving and to learn as much as they can. There is a notable lack of evangelism among these individuals in spite of the religious tone of the event. Their reticence is partly due to the expectation of rejection, but also, as one person said, “I know what happened. And they will find out soon enough.”

Those who were never interested in religion come away with a profound reverence for life, those who were religious become undogmatic. Sounds pretty Unitarian to me. One child refused to go to church anymore after an NDE, because she said she had met God who was not at all what they said in church, someone who punishes people for their sins.

Dr. Sabom dismissed Near Death Experiences as implausible until he was asked to attend a discussion of the subject as a resource person. He had been practicing cardiology for many years and had never had anyone tell him such a story. In preparation for the meeting, however, he decided to see whether he could find any examples among his patients. To his astonishment he began to find examples as soon as he started looking for them. He has been collecting cases ever since. Like other researchers in the field he has come to accept these as real events. The subjects say again and again, “There are not any words to describe what happened.” But when they try to convey their experience each in his own way it is easy to see that they are all attempting to explain the same phenomenon.

This fits in very well with Deikman's statement as follows:(pg.42)

“According to mystics, the fundamental reality underlying appearances .... cannot be described in terms derived from the ordinary world, but it is accessible to mystical intuition. The perception of that underlying reality gives meaning to individual existence and does away with the fear of death and the self-centered desires that direct the lives of most people. The intuition of the nature of reality marks the transition to the next stage of evolutionary development, which is the destiny of the human race.”

Considering the limitations of human intelligence it seems to me unreasonable to assume that something we cannot imagine is not possible. The great American philosopher, William James, said that it is no more logical to assume that something unprovable is false than it is to assume it is true.

The “harvest of our days”, to use Lena's phrase, may come in a season we cannot see. For those of us who have not been given a transcendental experience and who therefore do not know, the question of whether there is some sort of continuation beyond the grave remains a mystery. Our attitude toward this mystery may, perhaps, be a matter of temperament. For me it is more productive to face it with hope than with skepticism.

Civilization is carried forward by the ability of human beings to learn from the experience of others. As for the question of whether or not there is something in us which transcends death I conclude that the near death experiences related by others offer a clue. I choose to incorporate that into my life. I will try to follow Charles' intention and give the “Oh!” response, rather than the “No” response.

Whether a life's potential has been wasted or simply transferred to another venue is a matter of considerable importance to survivors who have invested heavily in the nurturing of that life. Dr. Moody says that the NDE does not prove that there is “life after life”, but he says that after seeing the effect of these experiences on his patients he believes that there is. These people say that you can take it with you. You can take love and knowledge. If that is so then my harvest has not been lost.

Benediction

by Robert Maybry Doss

For all who see God,
may God go with you.

For all who embrace life,
may life return your affection.

For all who seek a right path,
may a way be found…

And the courage to take it,
step by step.

Amen and Shalom

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